It is related that once upon a time there was a man which was an astronomer and he had a wife who was singular in beauty and loveliness. Now she was ever and aye boasting and saying to him,
The Wife Who Vaunted Her Virtue. 213
"O man, there is not amongst womankind my peer in nobility and chastity;" and as often as she repeated this saying to him he would give credit to her words and cry, " Walláhi, no man has a wife like unto the lady my wife for high caste and continence!"
Now he was ever singing her praises in every assembly; but one day of the days as he was sitting in a seance of the great, who all were saying their says anent womankind and feminine deeds and misdeeds, the man rose up and exclaimed, "Amongst women there is none like my wife, for that she is pure of blood and behaviour;" at this one of those present said to him, "You lie, O certain person!"
Then her sister Dunyazad said, "How sweet and tasteful is your tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" She said, "And where is this compared with what I would relate to you on the coming night if the Sovran permits me to survive?"
Now when it was the next night, and that was
The Seven Hundred and Fifty fourth Night
Dunyazad said to her, "In God's name, O my sister, If you be other than sleepy, finish for us your tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It has reached me, the director, the right guiding, lord of the counsel which is benefiting and of deeds fair seeming and worthy celebrating, that while the man was singing the praises of his spouse one of those present rose and said to him, "Walláhi, you lie, O certain person!" "In which do I lie?" he said and the other said, "I will teach you and show you manifestly whether your wife be a lady or a whore. Do you rise up from amongst us and hie you home and go you in to her and say, 'O woman, I am intent upon travelling to a certain place and being absent for a matter of four days and after will return; so do you arise, O woman, and bring me some bread and a mould of cheese by way of viaticum.' Then go you forth from beside her and disappear for a while; and presently returning home hide you in a private place without uttering a word." Cried those present, "By God, indeed these words may not be blamed." Accordingly, the man went forth from them and fared till he entered his house where he said, "O woman, bring me something of provision for a journey: my design is to travel and to be absent for a space of four days or Perhaps six." Cried the wife, "O my lord, you are about to desolate me nor can I on any wise bear parting from you; and if you needs must journey do you take me with you."
Now when the man heard these the words of his wife he said to himself, "By God, there cannot be the fellow of my spouse amongst the sum of womankind," presently adding to her, "I shall be away from four to six days but do you keep watch and ward upon yourself and open not my door to anyone at all." she said, "O Man, how can you quit me? and indeed I cannot suffer such separation." he said, "I shall not long be separated from you;" and so saying he fared forth from her and disappeared for the space of an hour, after which he returned home softly walking and hid himself in a place where none could see him. Now after the space of two hours behold, a Costermonger came into the house and she met him and salam'd to him and said, "What have you brought for me?" "Two lengths of sugar cane," he said, and she said, "Set them down in a corner of the room."
Then he asked, "where is your husband gone?" and she answered, "On a journey: may Allah never bring him back nor write his name among the saved and our Lord deliver me from him as soon as possible!"
After this she embraced him and he embraced her and she kissed him and he kissed her and enjoyed her favours till such time as he had his will of her; after which he went his ways. When an hour had passed a Poulterer came to the house, whereupon she arose and salam'd to him and said, "What have you brought me?" He answered, "A pair of pigeon poults;" so she cried, "Place them under that vessel."
Then the man went up to the woman and he embraced her
The Wife Who Vaunted Her Virtue. 215 and she embraced him and he tumbled her and she tumbled him; after which he had his will of her and presently he went off about his own business. When two hours or so had gone by there came to her another man which was a Gardener; so she arose and met him with a meeting still fairer than the first two and asked him, "What have you brought with you?" "A something of pomegranates," answered he; so she took them from him and led him to a secret place where she left him and changed her dress and adorned herself and perfumed herself and Kohl'd her eyes. After that she returned to the pomegranate man and fell a toying with him and he toyed with her and she hugged him and he hugged her and at last he rogered and had his wicked will of her and went his ways. Hereupon the woman doffed her sumptuous dress and garbed herself in her everyday garment. All this and the husband was looking on through the chinks of the door behind which he was lurking and listening to whatever befell, and when all was ended he went forth softly and waited awhile and soon returned home. Hereupon the wife arose and her glance falling upon her husband she noted him and accosted him and salam'd to him and said, "Have you not been absent at all?" He said, "O Woman, there befell me a tale on the way which may not be written on any wise, save with foul water upon disks of dung, and indeed I have endured sore toil and travail, and had not Allah (be He praised and exalted!) saved me from it, I had never returned." his wife said, "What has befallen you?"
Then her sister Dunyazad said, "How sweet and tasteful is your tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" She said, "And where is this compared with what I would relate to you on the coming night if the Sovran permits me to survive?"
Now when it was the next night, and that was
The Seven Hundred and Fifty fifth Night
Dunyazad said to her, "In God's name, O my sister, If you be other than sleepy, finish for us your tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It has reached me, the director, the right guiding, lord of the counsel which is benefiting and of deeds fair seeming and worthy celebrating, that the wife asked the husband saying, "What has befallen you on your way?" And he answered, "O Woman, when I went forth the town and took the road, behold, a basilisk issued from his den and coming to the highway stretched himself therealong, so I was unable to step a single footstep; and indeed, O Woman, his length was that of that sugar cane, brought by the Costermonger and which you placedst in the corner. Also he had hair upon his head like the feathers of the pigeon poults presented to you by the Poulterer man, and which you have set under the vessel; and lastly, O Woman, his head was like the pomegranates which you took from the Market Gardener and carriedst within the house."
Whenas the wife heard these words, she lost command of herself and her right senses went wrong and she became purblind and deaf, neither seeing nor hearing, because she was certified that her spouse had sighted and eye witnessed what she had wrought of waywardness and frowardness. Then the man continued to her, "O Whore! O Fornicatress! O Adulteress! How durst you say to me, 'There is not amongst womankind my better in nobility and purity'? and this day I have beheld with my own eyes what your chastity may be. So do you take your belongings and go forth from me and be off with yourself to yours own folk." And so saying he divorced her with the triple divorce and thrust her forth the house. Now when the Emir heard the aforetold tale from his neighbour, he rejoiced within it; this being a notable wile of the guiles of womankind which they are wont to work with men for "truly great is their craft."
CŒlebs and His Wife and Her Four Lovers. 217
And presently he dismissed the fourth lover, his neighbour, even as he had freed the other three, and never again did such trouble befall him and his wife, or from Kazi or from any other. And to the same purport (Said Shahrazad), to wit, the sleights and snares of the sex, they also tell the tale of