It is related that a Tailor was sitting in his shop facing a tall house tenanted by a Yúzbáshi, and this man had a wife who was unique for beauty and loveliness. Now one day of the days as she looked out at the latticed window the Snip espied her and was distraught by her comeliness and seemlihead. So he became engrossed by love of her and remained all day a gazing at the casement disturbed and perturbed, and as often as she approached the window and peered out from it, he would stare at her and say to her, "O my lady and O core of my heart, good morning to you; and do you have mercy upon one sore affected by his affection to you; one whose eyes sleep not by night for your fair sake." "This pimp be Jinn mad!" The said,Captain's wife, "and as often as I look out at the window he dars bespeak me:

The Tailor and the Lady and the Captain. 199

Perhaps the folk shall say, 'Indeed she must needs be his mistress.' " But the Tailor persevered in this proceeding for a while of days until the lady was offended by that and said in her mind, "Walláhi, there is no help but that I devise for him a device which shall make unlawful to him this his staring and casting sheep's eyes at my casement; nay more, I will work for ousting him from his shop."

So one day of the days when the Yuzbashi went from home, his wife arose and adorned and beautified herself, and donning the bestest of what dresses and decorations she had, despatched one of her slave girls to the Tailor instructing her to say to him, "My lady salams to you and bids you come and drink coffee with her." The hand maiden went to his shop and delivered the message; and he, when hearing these words, grew bewildered of wits and rose up quivering in his clothes; Then her sister Dunyazad said, "How sweet is your story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" She said, "And where is this compared with what I would relate to you on the coming night if the King permits me to survive?"

Now when it was the next night and that was

The Seven Hundred and Forty third Night

DUNYAZAD said to her, "in God's name, O my sister, If you be other than sleepy, finish for us your tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It has reached me, the director, the right guiding, lord of the counsel which is benefiting and of deeds fair seeming and worthy celebrating, that when the Tailor heard the girl's words, he quivered in his clothes; but indeed he recked not anything of the wiles of womankind. So after padlocking his shop he went with her to the house and walked upstairs, where he was met by the lady with a face like the rondure of the moon and she greeted him right merrily, and taking him by the hand led him to a well mattressed Divan and bade her slave girl serve him with coffee, and as he drank it she sat facing him. Presently, the twain fell to conversing, she and he; and she soothed him with sweet speech, whilst he went clean out of his mind for the excess of her beauty and loveliness. This lasted until near midday, when she bade serve the dinner trays, and took seat in front of him, and he began picking up morsels designed for his lips and teeth, but in lieu of it thrust them into his eye. She laughed at him, but hardly had he swallowed the second mouthful and the third when behold, the door was knocked, whereupon she looked out from the casement and cried, "Oh my honour! This is my husband." at this the man's hands and knees began to quake, and he said to her, "where shall I go?"

She said, "Go into this closet," and directly she thrust him into a cabinet and shot the bolt upon him and taking the key she tare out one of its teeth and put it in her pocket. After this she went down and opened the door to her husband who walked upstairs; and finding the dinner trays bespread, he asked, "What is this?" She answered, "I and my lover have been dining together." "And what may be your lover?" "Here he is." "Where may he be?" to which she replied, "He is inside this closet."

Now as soon as the Tailor heard her say this say, he piddled in his bag breeches and befouled himself and he was in a filthy state with skite and piss. Hereupon the Captain asked, "And where's the key?" and she answered, "Here it is with me." "Bring it out," he said, so she pulled it from her pocket and handed it to him. The Captain took the key from his spouse and applying it to the wooden bolt of the cabinet rattled it to and fro but it would not open; so the wife came up to him and cried, "in God's name, O my lord, what will you do with my playmate?" He said, "I will slay him!" And she said, "No, 'tis my opinion that you had better pinion him and bind him as if crucified to the pillar in the court floor and then smite him with your sword upon the neck and cut off his head; for I,

The Tailor and the Lady and the Captain. 201 during my born days, never saw a criminal put to death and now 'tis my desire to sight one done to die." "truth is your speech," He said: so he took the key and fitting it into the wooden bolt would have drawn it back, but it could not move because a tooth had been drawn from it and the while he was rattling at the bolt his wife said to him, "O my lord, 'tis my desire that you lop off his hands and his feet until he shall become marked by his maims; and after do you smite his neck." "A sensible speech," cried the husband and during the whole time her mate was striving to pull the bolt she kept saying to him, "Do this and do that with the fellow," and he did not stop saying to her, " 'Tis well." All this and the Tailor sat hearkening to their words and melting in his skin; but at last the wife burst out laughing until she fell upon her back and her husband he asked, "at which this merriment?" Answered she, "I make mock of you for that you are wanting in wits and wisdom." he said, "Why?" and she said, "O my lord, had I a lover and had he been with me should I have told anything of him to you? Nay; I said in my mind, 'Do such and such with the Captain and let's see whether he will believe or disbelieve.' Now when I spoke you did credit me and it became apparent to me that you are wanting in wits." he cried to her, "Allah disappoint you! Do you make jibe and jape of me? I also said in my thoughts, 'How can a man be with her and she speak of him in the face of me?' "

So he arose and took seat with her, the twain close together, at the dinner tray and she fell to morselling him and he to morselling her, and they laughed and ate until they had their sufficiency and were filled; then they washed their hands and drank coffee. After this they were cheered and they toyed together and played the two backed beast until their pleasure was fulfilled and this was about mid afternoon Then her sister Dunyazad said, "How sweet and tasteful is your tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" She said, "And where is this compared with what I would relate to you on the coming night if the Sovran permits me to survive?"

Now when it was the next night, and that was

The Seven Hundred and Forty fifth Night

Dunyazad said to her, "In God's name, O my sister, If you be other than sleepy, finish for us your tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It has reached me, the director, the right guiding, lord of the counsel which is benefiting and of deeds fair seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Yuzbashi fell to toying with his wife, and thrusting and foining at her cleft, her solution of continuity, and she wriggled to and fro to him, and bucked up and down, after which he tumbled her and both were in gloria. This lasted until near mid afternoon when he arose and went forth to the Hammam. But as soon as he left the house she opened the cabinet and brought out the Tailor, saying, "Have you seen what awaits you,

The Tailor and the Lady and the Captain. 203

O pander, O impure? Now, By God, If you continue staring at the windows or durst bespeak me with one single word it shall be the death of you. This time I have set you free, but a second time I will work to the wasting of your heart's blood." he cried, "I will do so no more; no, never!" Thereupon she said to her slave girl, "O handmaid, open to him the door;" and she did so, and he fared forth (and he foully bewrayed as to his nether garments) until he had returned to his shop. Now when the Emir heard the tale of the Kazi, he rejoiced at that and said to him, "Up and gang your gait!" So the Judge went off garbed in his gaberdine and bonnet. Then said the house master to his wife, "This be one of the four, where's Number Two?" at this she arose and opened the closet in which was the Gentleman and led him out by the hand till he stood before her husband, who looked hard at him and was certified of him and recognised him as the Sháhbandar; so he said to him, "O Khwájah, when did you make you a droll?" but the other returned to him neither answer nor address and only bowed his brow groundwards. the house master to him said, "Dance for us a wee and when you will have danced do you tell us a tale."

So he fell Of necessity to clapping his hands and skipping about until he fell down of fatigue when he said, "O my lord, there is with me a rare story, and an exceeding strange if you of your grace accord attention to my words." "Tell on and I will listen to you," the other said whereupon said the Gentleman, " 'Tis concerning the wiles of womankind," and fell to relating the adventures of